FACEBOOK FRIENDS AFTER THE BREAK?

Breaking up is getting to be a longer process these days. Because even after the romance is over? Lots of digital reminders of your ex boyfriend still exist... and they're usually just about everywhere you look.

Unfriend Your Ex

So what about Facebook? Should you unfriend your ex right after you break up? How long should you wait?

On the other hand, can you stay friends with your ex on Facebook? Is it really nothing more than an innocent connection, or is it something that will drive a wedge even further between you as the both of you move on with your lives, date other people, and have to visually - and worse, emotionally - see these things happen?

If your ex broke up with you, staying friends with him can be torturous. Seeing him happy, seeing him doing all the things he used to do with you... seeing his family, his friends, even his new girlfriend? Those things can break your heart. At the same time, you might be reluctant to unfriend him simply because it's the last strong tie you might have to a once-great relationship.

Some girls will even think staying Facebook friends can help get an ex boyfriend back. They'll reason that in keeping themselves visible, they stand the best chance of staying fresh in their exboyfriend's mind.

And yes, that might partially be true. If your ex hasn't already unfriended you, he might be using his own Facebook feed to 'watch' (if not spy) on what you've been doing since the break.

Using Facebook to Get Your Ex Back

First, understand that there are several critical steps involved in getting back together after an unwanted breakup. These have to be executed in the right order, and somewhat more importantly, each step has to be done at the right time.

Moving too quickly will always push your ex away. He just broke up with you, and hasn't had time to even miss you, yet here you are trying to push for a reconciliation. Not only will your boyfriend mostly ignore these attempts, he's going to laugh at them. This puts you in a position of weakness, and from there, it's even harder to win him back.

By the same token, waiting too long can be equally bad. There's nothing worse than missing the boat and finding out later on that yeah, he would've gotten back together with you, only you didn't get in touch with him and now he's dating somebody else. (If your ex has already started dating someone else, this is a different story entirely.

So... Facebook. What steps should you take regarding social media that will make your boyfriend want you again.

At first, that answer's pretty easy: you do nothing. Unfriending your ex right after he dumps you will appear petty and childish. Worse, it makes him think you really care. You care so much that the first thing you did was run home and change your status, as if you needed to be 'rid' of him and announce to the world that you were free again.

Honestly, guys laugh at this (girls should too, in the reverse scenario). You never want to appear jilted, and you never want to look weak. To get back an ex boyfriend you first need to look desirable, and no one wants someone who is so Facebook or Instagram obsessed that they immediately sever ties by defriending or unfollowing an ex.

Instead, ignore your profile. Don't bother with your status. In fact, intentionally don't log in for a few days. Even if you're a Facebook maniac, or you post all the time on Instagram, disappearing from social media will create an air of mystery. You'll look as if you have better things to do, and you'll appear totally independent of your ex. And trust me, in the days following the breakup? He is certainly checking these outlets to see what you're doing.

Does Your Ex Check up on You After the Break Up?

Yes, and here's why:

Whatever reason your boyfriend used to break things off with you, he had to make a pretty critical decision. He weighed the pros and the cons, and he came up with something he thought would be best for him: going on without you.

Now this decision is always tough. Your ex wants to believe he did the right thing, so when looks back over his shoulder? It's to see how you're handling the breakup.

Handle things with grace and finesse, and you just went up a few points in his book. To him, you're still desirable. You're so decidedly uneffected by losing you that maybe (he thinks) he shouldn't have let you go in the first place. Maybe, just maybe, you didn't need him as much as he thought you did. Which leads him to his next thought:

Maybe he needs you more.

This is the kind of mindset you want an exboyfriend to be in before you start working toward a reconciliation. He needs to be vulnerable, susceptible to the suggestion that life without you isn't half as good as life with you as his girlfriend.

And you don't want to just put things back the way they were. You want things to be better. Any future relationship you have with him needs to be something fresh, new, and exciting - like it was in the beginning, back when you first met up and started dating.

Here's where you past history comes in. There are ways to recreate the original magic, to where things feel electrically charged and the attraction between you is overwhelming again. Kind of like how you felt on that first, second, and third date with him, only you want the both of you to feel that way all the time.

Step by Step - Get Your Ex Boyfriend to Want You Again

So let's sum it up: your boyfriend dumps you, and then immediately:

• You walk away from the breakup without resisting.

• Immediately you employ the counter-rejection techniques found here.

• You drop off the radar for a while. No Facebook. No Instagram. No social media.

• You implement the NO CONTACT rule; breaking all communication (emails, texts, phone calls - all of it)

• You wait until he calls you, or ultimately, you use these reconnection methods to get your ex to make first contact.

• You play it cool, especially when you first see each other again during the reunion date.

From there, a lot of what happens will depend upon how he reacts to you, and to the idea of dating you again. Once more, you can't push hard. There have to be a couple of no-strings-attached meet-ups before ANY conversation can be had regarding a future together.

And if your ex does mention going back out? Let him talk. LISTEN to him. Then suggest the clean slate methods for wiping away all the bad history and continuing forward with a fresh start, to make all new memories, while carrying with you the GOOD memories of your past relationship.

Ex Factor Guide Boyfriend