Getting Your Ex Back:  The 10 Worst Mistakes You Can Make

In winning back someone you love, sometimes the things you do aren't half as important as the things you don't. In the days and weeks immediately following your breakup, most people make hurried moves and quick decisions in an effort to patch things up. But sadly, almost all of these moves are wrong.

Right after a relationship ends, crucial mistakes can be made that might cost you any chance of getting back together with your ex. And once you make these errors, they usually cannot be undone. They can very quickly drive your partner away, which is the exact opposite of what you want. It's therefore important to recognize these bad behaviors right away, and prevent them from happening in the first place.

Dating Desperation

1) Crying or Begging For Your Relationship

One of the worst things you can do, crying or pleading with your ex is never the answer. Whether you were dumped or you broke up through a horrendous fight, emotions always run high on each side. You both need time to calm down, reevaluate the situation, and then approach it rationally on another day. Crying leads to hysterics, where nothing ever gets accomplished.

Maybe you've even seen a guy take his ex girlfriend back simply because she was crying. Is that what you want? Any type of reunion based on guilt and pity is destined for failure. You'll only break up again during the next fight, or the next one. If there are problems that led to the end of your relationship they need to be identified and addressed - not masked by a waterfall of tears.

Begging for your relationship is even worse. You're heaping unwanted guilt on your boyfriend's shoulders that he's going to resent you for later on. You're also showing big signs of personal weakness. Beleive it or not, men are attracted more to strength than vulnerability. Some vulnerability in a woman is endearing, but not to the point of broken down begging. Avoid it no matter what you do; it's likely to change the whole way your boyfriend looks at you now, and in the future.

2) Pushing For Answers As To What Happened

Another common mistake, pressing your ex to explain the break up over and over again is a big problem. It's easy for your mind not to accept his reasoning, and to repeatedly badger him for the 'real' reason the two of you are no longer a couple. Even after he's explained it for the sixth consecutive time, many women keep pressing for the things the want to hear... things they believe they can fix in order to reverse their breakup.

No matter what reason your boyfriend gives you when breaking up, accept it. Even if you think it's bullshit, there will be plenty of time later on to discuss it during the reconcilation process. That process can't begin until you've accepted the breakup (see Step 1) - so take what he says and move on without fighting him on it.

3) Giving Out Ultimatums or Deadlines

These never work. Your deadline will come and go, and you'll never follow through on your threats. This undermines your credibility, and your ex will take many of the things you say in the future as empty or hollow.

In addition to this, you're in no position to be giving deadlines anyway. Your boyfriend broke up with you, putting you in the very undesirable role of the dumpee. Making threats from such a poor position only makes you look silly. And even if you gained the advantage of higher ground, this type of negative communication can only further damage your relationship. You want to make your ex want you back... strong-arming him to get there defeats the whole purpose.

4) Engaging in Text Message Terrorism

The bane of any breakup, text-messaging your ex can really damage any chances you might have of putting your relationship back together again. Why? Because these quick little back and forth conversations usually degenerate into tit-for-tat arguments. As each side tries to make their own points and trump the other's, both of you end up either annoyed or confused. Text-messaging an exboyfriend never accomplishes anything.

Text Message Terrorism

The same goes for email. Although these new technologies allow for increased communication, sometimes too much of a good thing is no good. A really big part of getting your ex back involves making him miss you. But trust me, your boyfriend won't have time to miss you if you're shooting him an electronic message every ten minutes.

Texting and Emailing your ex will only lead to more fighting. This type of communication comes without the added benefits of emotion or voice inflection, and often messages are misinterpreted by one person or the other. Even the simplest conversation can turn into a blowout if one partner doesn't realize how the other person is trying saying something.

Do yourself a favor and turn off your cellphone after a breakup. As hard as it may seem to do this, it's for the best if you plan on trying to get back an ex boyfriend.

5) Exhibiting Desperate Behavior

You can feel sad, sullen, depressed, or even physically ill after your relationship ends. These feelings are unfortunately common after breaking up with someone you still love. But the one feeling you want to avoid at all costs, because it can really worsen your situation with an ex boyfriend, is desperation.

Men can smell desperation in a woman from miles away. It never gets you anywhere, and it actually makes you less attractive as a potential girlfriend or mate. It's also very easy to take advantage of someone who is feeling desperate, and you certainly don't want to be taken advantage of.

Staying strong after a break up is vital to making him want you back. Trade in your despair for activity: get out and do something that will get your mind off your ex boyfriend. Hit the gym, better yourself, take up a hobby or go see some friends. Whatever you do, don't sit around by the phone waiting for his call. Even were it to come, you're going to lose face once he realizes you were doing nothing at all but waiting to hear from him.

For more errors made during reconcilation, continue on to The Top 5 Worst Mistakes made in getting an ex back.

But to learn the things you should be doing right now to get your ex back, you'll need to explore and absorb this amazing guide to repairing your relationship:

The Magic of Making Up

The Magic of Making Up    by T.W. Jackson
Target Audience: Younger Long Term Couples
Target Age: 18-35 years old
Relationship Status: Broken Up or On a Break

Instantly downloadable, this resource is geared strictly and solely toward teaching you exactly how to win back your ex. Step by step you'll learn simple tips and tricks to bringing out his true feelings for you. Find out how you have him calling you to get back together, instead of the other way around.

Continue to part 2

Ex Factor Guide Boyfriend